Here is something I don't think I have actually done on here yet: venting in a direct manner that people will surprisingly understand. Finals week is in 12 days, so let's flush out all the crap life gave me.
I am freaking out that I won't receive credit for two of my classes, both of which I have D's in. I am pissed at myself for being lazy, not studying hard enough, giving up too easily, and putting forth my worst academic performance since preschool. I am also pissed off that a multiple choice test could be hard enough for me to fail. One class has a 10-question test with hard questions, in a class with a teacher with a thick french accent who goes off on tangents and talks for three hours without the visual aid of a power point. Another class has a 40-question test in which the material is simple, the questions seem easy, and I study for a considerable amount of time for the test, but I've walked away with a D and an F on two exams. A third class offers a 40-question test with a "correct answer is not given" choice on half of the questions, and is usually right for three of them even though no one usually thinks of choosing it without wanting to strangle the teacher in order to get the right answer. Luckily for me, this teacher actually curves the test by a reasonable amount, and I pull off grades that will actually earn me credit.
I have eaten alone for most meals this week. Breakfast I eat later than everyone else, lunch I sometimes skip, but dinner pisses me off. I hate eating dinner alone, but it happens all the tr. Why? No one bothers to ask me to eat with them, even though everyone has to pass my door to get to the stairwell and people have my phone number. When I ask people to eat with me, either they already ate, will be eating two hours later, and say "I'll be down there soon" and don't bother or "forget" to let me know. Last year, I almost always had people to eat with. This is ridiculous.
The fact that I'm ranting to myself in a blog an not to my friends pisses me off because I should be able to rant to my friends about these things, but I don't spend enough time with them for me to be able to do that without feeling uncomfortable. I am also too proud to tell my home friends or friends from my old school.
I am running out of advice to give to my good friends, and I feel more isolated now than I have ever felt.
I am 19 years old and I've never had a girlfriend. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, that somehow the way I act is weird or creepy and I'm just completely oblivious to it all.
I have no idea how the world works. I don't know how professional you have to be with certain people, how confidential with certain information, or really even what is not normal behavior in public. I have no idea how to party at college or how to pick up a girl. I don't understand the concept of random hookups, let alone why people would seek out and prioritize physical satisfaction over wmotional bonding. I still have yet to understand why every girl I form an emotional attraction to just "wants to be friends" even though they could try it, just to see if things could work out.
I hate how my shoelaces come untied any time I walk for over five minutes.
I hate how a "check" on my government paper is only worth 3.5 points out of five, pinning my average at a D+. And it's impossible to participate in the discussion if the TA discusses topics no one has ever heard of.
Every part of my earphones have broken except for the actual functioning, and they are too expensive to replace.
Why do things have to cost money????? Don't answer that, that's what my government class is for.
When my window is closed it's too hot, but when it's open at night, there's too much noise. I sleep with my fucking fan on in the winter.
My mom calls me a lazy shit. It really helps my self-esteem and motivation when the person who has stood by me my whole life has suddenly lost faith.
I want to grow up to be a writer, which is the least sustaining job possible. I'm afraid that I'll be living in a basement or paying rent until I'm 40 when either my first story comes out or I decide to go bungie jumping and "accidentally" forget to hook the bungie cord up to the harness. I fear either the public will reject my work or I'll be too busy working a low-paying job or a dissatisfying job to do what I love to do.
Of course, one of the classes I may not get credit for is an important requirement for my major.
I hate Justin Beiber and the Carolina Panthers' 3-8 record.
The water fountain in my hallway always tastes like shit and always has some unknown, disgusting object blocking the drain.
My tongue hurts if I move it horizontally or if I stick it out, and it has been that way since my food poisoning almost two weeks ago.
My hair grows too quicky, it hurts when skin grows under my freshly cut fingernails, and every time I cut my toenails I predict that they will be ingrown one day.
The shade on my window is impossible to keep closed for more than five seconds and it really pisses me off.
My phone's battery loses charge too quickly.
I try to go to bed before 1:00 every night but always go to sleep after that time. My body clock is fucked up and I fail every time I try to fix it. Then, of course, I am disappointed in myself the next morning after getting up late and being late to class.
WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL DROWZY IN ASTRONOMY?!?!?! C'mon, son.
I think I've covered just about everything.
